every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
