I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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