Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
