i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
