wanna go halves on a baby?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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