I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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