Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
