i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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