I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
