Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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