Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
