wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
