did you get engaged???
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
