True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
be right there i have to get my cape
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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