why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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