Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
