R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
