I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
