problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
