I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
