I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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