I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
