apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
