worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I see more hoeing in ur future
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
