great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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