I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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