Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
two words...techno handjob
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
