i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think people are normalizing furries
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
