Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
