Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
