ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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