We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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