Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
