i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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