Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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