i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
