Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
