you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She's the barista slut.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My penis needs a shock collar
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
