i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
