it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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