Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
