Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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