I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
