I'm really into asian looking animals
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
