i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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