We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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