why do cheetos always look like penises
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
