Its about making memories worth repressing
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
