Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
