it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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