from now on my penis is your penis
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize