i already hear my dad disowning me
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize