All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
