But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize