So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
how drunk are you?
Several
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
