oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
