they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
