Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
