i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
