I wish i was in the wii world.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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