so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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